So once again we’re standing in front of Tegel Manor. It’s a day later, our base camp in the outbuilding is a little better provisioned, and we are the only adventuring party in the world that has identical twin amazons. All day long, they thought it was funny to switch weapons, since that was the only way to tell them apart. It’s not like I ever told any deep dark secrets to either of them, so I saw it as a joke. Sorel, on the other hand, seems even more hot and bothered than usual. Qual sees the whole episode as a meaningless distraction. He just wants to get back into the manor, kill some things, and take their stuff.
We entered by the back door again and decided to check out some of the doors along the long hallway. The first room contained a long-dead orc hanging from the ceiling and some giant rats. Not much challenge there. The room to the south was a bit more of a challenge. In what had been a bedroom, there was a Black Pudding. We had fought oozes before, and we knew what to do, but that did not make it any easier. We knew that the slimy creature would corrode any weapon we hit it with, so we all switched to backup arms. With flame and club, we beat it down. Of course it split into smaller blobs, so that made teamwork really important. Aleandra and Qual both got slimed on her legs, leaving really nasty injuries. Potions helped put them right.
There was a statue of a woman in that room, a real looker. Qual went to check it out once his leg was better, and you could tell that it was magical when he went all rigid upon touching it. A second later, he was talking in such an imperious manner that even Sorel took offense. Then there was the sashaying. Dwarves don’t sashay. Ever. So, duh, do you think he was possessed? We had to give our dwarf a beat-down to subdue him. When we got him to speak clearly, he said that he was Rhian the Remorseless, a Rump from a century before. She was the babe depicted in the statue. I convinced her that she really didn’t want to be a dwarf, but that we would find a suitable host body for her. I told her about the hot serving wench in town whose body she could use. She didn’t really have a choice, as she had a whole party ready to slay her. She went back to the statue. Then we smashed it. I mean, really. Don’t fuck with my dwarf.
The next room was artificially chilly. It was a well-preserved bedroom. This one had a wax effigy of Rhian on the bed. We did not touch it. If I got one lesson from Tegel Manor it was this: DON’T TOUCH ANY FREAKIN’ STATUES!
The next room was even colder. It contained a bunch of weapons, some of which detected as magic. We stashed them—a hand-axe, a dagger, and a short sword—for later. The door slammed shut behind us, and we faced the unpleasant prospect of freezing to death. Judicious application of brute force on the door eventually opened it. I suggested to the Amazons that we huddle together for warmth. I’m not sure which one of them kneed me in the nuts, but it was totally uncalled for.
A giant frog was in the next room. Why, I don’t know. We were far from a swamp. But I had given up on using logic to make sense of my manor. As if to reward me for my suspension of disbelief, the slimy bastard nearly ate me. I found out what the inside of a frog looks like, and I got bludgeoned as Qual and Aleandra cut me out.
The next room was kind of cool, if somewhat frustrating. It was nothing but quarters for the servants, but it looked like someone had trashed it. Turns out that gravity periodically reversed in there. So we fall up. We fall down. We fall up. We fall down. We fall up... well, you get the picture. We eventually caught on, too. I sort of want to keep that enchantment when I take over this place. Could be fun, in the right circumstances.
We found a grisly trophy room next, where two giant beetles were hiding inside a stuffed octopus. Not too much trouble. A painting in the next room came to life. It was a battle scene, and a few arrows came flying out of it. One hit Sorel. I thought that was funny. In response, he threatened to turn me into a pig.
Next we find a chapel or something, off that hall with the talking pictures. Not much to say about it. No lingering evils or bound demons to menace us. We did find three magical animal masks—a falcon, a wolf, and a tiger. Sorel convinced me they were safe, so I tried the tiger mask on. OF COURSE I couldn’t get it off, and it transformed my face so I look like a tiger. On the plus side, it made me stronger and quicker. On the down side, I had to put up with the laughter of everyone else. I said it was a good time to go back to town. Everyone reluctantly agreed. So it looks like our little camp is never really going to see any use if we keep getting transformed like we do.
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