Well, I’m no longer a tiger. I had one more night with the wench (named Hazel, if you’re interested), and she started to make plans about the two of us running off to the City-State or some nonsense. Well, we had plans to go see the priestess the next day, so that pretty much settled it for me.
We had to sit through some long, boring sermon about the White Lady before the priestess would cure us. We nodded along and smiled, and by lunchtime, the damage from the wights was gone, Ev was no longer a walking leper, and I had my beautiful face back. We were also out one precious idol, which paid for all that benevolence. On the whole, our take was pretty weak. Split five ways, I was beginning to doubt our ability to do serious renovations.
We took a day off to rest and regroup, and on the next day we arrived bright and early at the manor. Then we went straight for the front door this time. The foyer was nice, but apart from some more animated portraits, there was not too much of interest. We headed east, right into the…torture chamber. Classy. Sorel started making some suggestive jokes, and I swear both of the amazons were flirting with him. Qual and I rolled our eyes, but then suddenly, some chains in the center of the room animated and grabbed the girls (yeah, I think of Ev as a girl now) and tried to drag them into a pit. Qual cut through them with an axe, and I used my tools to break through some of the other links. That seemed to quiet the chains, but we were in a hurry to get out of there.
We were in another twisty part of the manor, where rooms and corridors seemed to appear with no logical sense. We found a bedroom with all the accoutrements of a knight, including the suit of armor. Turns out there was a skeleton inside who loved to shout insults at us, but because the armor was rusted in place, he could not move. Here is a sample of his craft:
Qual: “You half-sized hairy melon!”
Aleandra: “You beaver-eating poison-spewing harridan!”
Evrian: “You drag queen!” (how did he know?)
Sorel: “You perverted powdered unman!”
Yeah, it said stuff about me, but since I’m writing this journal, you don’t get to hear anything about it.
The next room was set up with a tea service. There was a black pudding slopping around in there, too. Puddings are easy to kill if you take your time and keep your distance, and, Qual excepted, we were a pretty fast-moving party. We took it out without getting a scratch on us.
We found a harem, which sounds better than it was. It was decorated all eastern-style, which I approve of. There were about a dozen girls there, all phantoms, but all were pretty hot. They made us feel comfortable, and I would not have minded staying. Indeed, Sorel agreed with me on this and I could tell that the girls were getting into it too. But Qual threw water on our little party and made us get out of there fast. Turns out there was a magical sleep effect starting up, and we nearly passed out before we could get through the door.
Once again, we found a wing of the house we could not get to, so we knew a secret door was somewhere. This time, we found it without too much trouble. The room on the other side was lavish, with wall carvings and murals to make us feel like we were in a forest glade. Incense and bells made us feel at peace. There was a magic carpet floating on the far side of the room. I decided to give it a ride, but somehow the controls were jammed, and it started spinning uncontrollably when I tried to sit on it. Ow. There was also an altar that had two voluptuous angels engaged in carnal acts on it. Sorel found that particularly interesting. We could see him studying them carefully, but trying to look like he was only casually looking at them. Later, we found out that they had magical writing on them that promised immortality. Sorel found an inscription that asked “Do you want to live forever?” so he puts his hand on one of the sculpted boobs and shuts “YES!”
Well, guess what? Did you think anything in this manor was going to be straightforward? Sorel starts to transform. Really, I have no idea what he was thinking, not just touching a statue but falling for so obvious a ploy. His clothes disintegrate, and for a moment we get to see the wizard in all his spindly glory. Then his hips flare, his chest swells, and his pecker withdraws into his torso. The hair on his body falls off, and his skin becomes perfectly smooth and radiant. His limbs become lithe and toned, and his face reshapes into an image of feminine beauty. Sorel’s hair erupts like a waterfall down his back, turning bright gold. In the end, he looks exactly like one of the angels, boobs, wings, and all. Stark naked, of course. Sorel is also immortal, just like the statue offered, so I’m just about thinking that Sorel got a sweet deal when Qual says something like “Oh, fuck me.” Right there, in front of all of us, Sorel starts to fuck Qual. The dwarf was freaked (he’s not gay, he’s just a dwarf) but Sorel was horrified. Turns out that he (now she) can live forever, but only as an avatar of the lust goddess to whom this temple was dedicated, Tama Hama or something. For the rest of her eternal life, Sorel will have to do whatever kinky suggestion is made of her. Except for me apparently. Turns out I’m the one person whose commands Sorel can ignore. Just my luck. It’s like the universe doesn’t want me to have fun.
So, I have to wonder, what’s the deal with the gender-swapping traps in this place? The Rump family must have had some serious kinks, if you ask me. And now this winged-bimbo maker belongs to me. I have to admit, more than a few devious plans floated across my mind. How hard would it be to convince gullible guests to touch the statue. In a few days, I could have a huge harem of busty angels, catering to my every whim. Could I be that evil? Well, I suppose we won’t know until I try, will we?
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